Brandon's blog

I cannot vouch for the validity of the following customer service call between a Microsoft WordPerfect Help Desk employee and a customer, but I’ve seen this get passed around a few time in the past few years and feel it worth a chuckle and retelling:

Operator:’WordPerfect Technical Support; may I help you?’
Caller: ‘Yes, well, I’m having trouble with WordPerfect ..’
Operator:’What sort of trouble??’
Caller:’Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.’
Operator:’Went away?’
Caller:’They disappeared’
Operator:’Hmm.. So what does your screen look like now?’
Caller:’Nothing.’
Operator:’Nothing??’
Caller:’It’s blank; it won’t accept anything when I type.’
Operator:’Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?’
Caller:’How do I tell?’
Operator:’Can you see the ‘C: prompt’ on the screen?’
Caller:’What’s a sea-prompt?’
Operator:’Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?’
Caller:’There isn’t any cursor; I told you, it won’t accept anything I type.’
Operator:’Does your monitor have a power indicator??’
Caller:’What’s a monitor?’
Operator:’It’s the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it’s on?’
Caller:’I don’t know.’
Operator:’Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??’
Caller:’Yes, I think so.’
Opera tor:’Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it’s plugged into the wall.
Caller:’Yes, it is.’
Operator:’When you were behind the monitor, did you notice there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one? ‘
Caller:’No.’
Operator:’Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable.’
Caller:’Okay, here it is.’
Operator:’Follow it for me, and tell me if it’s plugged securely into &nbs p; the back of your computer.’
Caller:’I can’t reach.’
Operator:’OK. Well, can you see if it is?’
Caller:’No..’
Operator:’Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?’
Caller:’Well, it’s not because I don’t have the right angle — it’s because it’s dark.’
Operator:’Dark?’
Caller:’Yes – the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window.’
Operator:’Well, turn on the office light then.’
Caller:’I can’t.’
Operator:’No? Why not?’
Caller:’Because there’s a power failure.’
Operator:’A power …. A power failure? Aha. Okay, we’ve got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff that your computer came in?’
Caller:’Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.’
Operator:’Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from.’
Caller:’Really? Is it that bad?’
Operator:’Yes, I’m afraid it is.’
Caller:’Well, all right then, I suppose What do I tell them?’
Operator:’Tell them you’re too damned stupid to own a computer!’

As fun as this would be, however, according to Snopes.com [link], this is complete bull-hooky with little purpose other than to express the common frustrations encountered in this here tech-nee-cal age we live in — most especially from the customer support point of view.

Whether a tech ever actually handled the customer in such a way, I don’t for a moment believe that this a scenario which has not occurred at some point in time.